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Sunday, March 8, 2015

Motivation Maybe??

What motivates me?  I am not really sure how to answer that question and that troubles me.  We talk about motivation a lot at work; it is a big part of my job motivating others.  At work I know that my work ethic motivates me; I would never want to do a bad job.  I am motivated by helping others and problem solving.  But once I walk out of the doors at work I am lost. 

As I have written about a few times I struggle with body image issues and wanting to be healthier.  I want to be healthier, I want to look and feel better and I want to be able to look in a mirror.  I know that I make poor choices with food and I should work out more but I don't.  I always hope that something will motivate me but often I just convince myself it really isn't going to matter or I don't attend the event.  My last two class reunions are prime examples. 

So have I found my motivation? Maybe?   One thing I have wanted to do for a long time is go to an outdoor music festival were you camp and enjoy music for a long weekend.  I have a few friends who have also wanted to do this but between our schedules and other things we have not been able to make it happen.  That is until today!  We decided to just go for it and bought tickets to Mumford and Sons' Gentleman of the Road stopover in Waverly, IA.

Once again we will be road tripping to Iowa for a Mumford and Sons concert.  The first time we saw Mumford and Sons in concert was in Council Bluffs, IA in 2011.  It was the most incredible concert I have ever seen.  I know it is a night none of us will ever forget.  Especially when they played "The Cave" during the encore as a storm rolled in and large rain drops splashed down on us making the moment even more magical. 
My goal for this time is to enjoy the festival and not be self conscious.  I know this is asking a lot of myself and I am going to have to put in some hard work a head of time.  Yes I could just learn to be happy with how I look but I'm not healthy and that is also an issue. This needs to be a two-fold I need to have better body image but I also need to start making healthier decisions. 

So will knowing that we have this awesome event help motivate me?  I hope so.  Will putting it in writing help?  I hope so.  I want to be able to write about the festival and smile with confidence in the pictures.  I want to go and enjoy the time with my friends and the music and leave the anxiety and self doubt in Wisconsin.