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Thursday, April 30, 2015

Out of My Comfort Zone

I am the queen of great ideas and little follow through. Usually when it comes to actually going through with the idea I manage to talk myself out of it.  Tonight, I left work a little bit earlier than I had planned and decided I should stop and see my grandpa at the hospital.  He has been in and out for the last three or four months and sadly has been admitted again.  Grandpa is eighty-nine years old and unfortunately his heart and kidneys are not doing the greatest.

On my way to visit him I started to panic and wonder if I should really go on my own.  I started to wonder if no one else is there are we going to have anything to talk about.  I love my grandpa but I started to wonder if it would just be really awkward.  Then I started to remember that I needed to put my insecurities aside.  Did I really want to let those stupid things keep me from spending time with someone I love.  He is alone in a hospital room wondering when he gets to go home. 

I am so happy I stopped to see him.  I actually got to spend time alone with my grandpa that I normally would not get the chance, especially with our crazy family.  He was eating dinner and watching the news.  Watching the news with your grandpa just seems like something every grandkid needs to do at some point.  I also was able to be helpful and cut up his chicken breast.  I'm not sure why the hospital would give something that clearly needs to be cut up to an elderly patient.

Grandpa is hoping to go home tomorrow, it will all depend on his platelets, blood sugar level and mobility.  I will hopefully get to visit him at home in the next few days.  This way he will have the opportunity to interrupt me while I'm talking to Grandma, he doesn't like when she gets the attention.  Their house is one of my favorite places in the world to be.  I was lucky enough that the phrase "over the hill and through the woods" was a true statement. 

There was nothing better in the world than trekking through the woods to my grandparent's house for popsicles.  No one will ever forget the time my brother and I, ages three and five, made the journey alone.  If the idea of toddlers hiking through the woods isn't scary enough for you, add some not so friendly cattle.  Grandpa and Grandma's house was the ultimate playground. 

I need to remember that when I give into my fear I miss out on really special moments.  Today was one of those days, my grandpa told me he loved me, something he has never said to me before.