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Sunday, April 5, 2015

Surviving the Holiday

I could have easily have just stayed in my room all day, I actually had an excuse I have a cold.  I've been sick for three days but a busy retail weekend didn't leave time to be sick.  I did sleep late and missed church, I wish I hadn't.   I thought about just staying in my room but it just didn't seem right.  So once the family got home I came out and started preparing the food. I love cooking, it brings me comfort in social situations.

I made sure my hands were super clean, didn't want to be responsible for passing any germs on.  I did not feel the greatest but it was nice to be out in the kitchen with my sister in-law and my mum getting everything ready.  Some of it could have been my control freak ways, I have to have the cheese potatoes just right.  My parent's got an emergency cake just in case I wasn't up to making mine but we ended up not needing it.  I even got some extra energy to make a cute twinkie peep treat I saw on Pintrest. 

Once people started arriving I started to feel a bit of a panic, nothing that I can't handle.  I did take advantage of the fact I still had some stuff in the oven and stayed in the house for a while.  Don't worry I wasn't alone, I stole my nephew to hangout with me.  We sat on the couch watching Teletubbies eating cheesey potatoes and buns.  After the stuff in the oven was done, I decided we needed to try and be social and headed out to the family.

I don't want anyone to think there is anything wrong with my family, they are amazing.  I am the one with the issue, I get overwhelmed.  I don't know why I find it so hard to converse with my own family but I do.  The kids are a nice distraction.  I stayed out side for a bit and really tried to converse with everyone.  I was thankful that everyone enjoyed the food. 

It was nice for once to know that I didn't retreat to my room from panic.  I did go to my room after a bit but mainly because I was starting to feel super drained.  So I spent the remainder of the day in my room knitting and watching Netflix.  I did get some company via my nephew Waylon again.  He even tried to help with my knitting. 

I love my family and don't want my anxiety to keep me from enjoying these precious moments that someday I will long for.