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Sunday, May 17, 2015

Where Did I Put That?

The other day during the car crisis, I kept getting asked where I bought my car and I could not answer.  I could not even recall what city I had made the purchase. I felt so stupid and confused why I could not remember a significant detail.  Later that day I had returned from running some errands and it was brought to my attention I had not remembered to close the garage door or event shut of the lights.  At this point I started to worry a bit but mostly just brushed it off. 

It was not until the next day that I started to worry. I left for work wearing my garden sandals knowing my shoes where in my car. Unfortunately I was only a mile down the road before I realized I wasn't driving my car. I had to return to the house to get shoes for work. Little things like that continued to happen. Now I started to worry if something was wrong with me. I started rubbing the Young Living tranquil oil on me, in an attempt to calm down.

On my lunch break I did some research and looked at association between anxiety and memory loss.

Stress and Memory Loss
Stress and anxiety can cause memory loss by getting in the way of concentration. The stress and anxiety cause a distraction that can lead to an inability to remember things. The stress also can cause the brain to not function properly. This is why often when stress levels elevate many people struggle with short-term memory loss.

I need to be able to remember things not only in my professional life but my personal life.  I can not reduce the amount of stress in my life but as I have written before I can change how I handle the stress. My first step is going to be trusting in God. I don't write about my faith often but it is very important to me. I know that I can not control all of my worrying but the more I turn over to God and trust in Him the more productive my life is going to be. 

Thursday, May 14, 2015

I Didn't Quit

I know many of you may have thought I quit. I needed to step away for a bit.  I was worried my writing was getting too depressing. I have a lot going on in my life and I do not want to come across as a complainer. When I started this journey it was meant to be therapeutic as well as a voice for the many that struggle with depression and anxiety. I feared my writing was becoming a really bad Facebook status.

In the midst of another financial setback, I found my strength to write again.  I will not lie there have been times today that I have retreated to my room and hid in the blankets. My face has been streamed with tears at several points. At one point I questioned my ability to handle anymore.  Then I remembered I am a fighter. I can't change the situation but I can change my reaction. 
Photo Credit

I do not know what tomorrow brings and I can only control what is happening right now.  Tomorrow the dealership may call and tell me I owe them a lot of money to fix my car or they may tell me that Nissan will cover the costs.  I do not know and freaking out about the worse case scenario is not helping me. Curling up in a ball in my bed is not the answer. 

I thought knitting was the answer but I needed to do something that would be productive not a distraction. I decided to get back to writing. I recently started an online course taught by Gina Horkey on how to establish a freelance writing career. This was the motivation I needed to regain my confidence and remember my goals.

I want expand upon my writing and work towards a successful writing career. I am going to continue to post to this blog three days per week. I want to have time to write for other venues.  Please feel free to contact me at deannamarieanderson@gmail.com if you are interested in obtaining my writing services.